Sunshine

It seems like it's days like today that make us stop and count our blessings and the good things in our lives. Something about the sun shining in on us reminds us that it's not all bad. Of course, it probably helped that I spent the day with my knight in shining armor, talking and having fun and getting to know each other. It's amazing what new relationships can do to your perspective on life. Whether or not this is something, it's reminding me what happy feels like and that in itself is worth the effort.

The Arthurian game was this weekend and was, again, fabulous. I found it a lot more difficult to get into my character on Saturday but the game was mostly focused around the knights and their tournament so there wasn't as much for the ladies to do. Once things got going though, I had a lot of fun. I don't know if I mentioned it before but Eric is playing my twin brother and seems to have decided to start being a protective brother and threatened one of the knights when I offered him my favour. It was a blast. Sunday night was tabletop game at Star's and she seems to be gearing up to make our tall, dark and evil character my romantic interest. Unfortunately, my character (Lisette) has no idea. Pixie on the other hand, is beating her head into the wall. Star has been doing an amazing job at the past few games and crushing all of our characters thoroughly and somehow leaves us begging her for more. She's talented that one.

Work continues to be busy and stressful but not really so bad. I really love I do and the people I get to work with, even if they have decided that my love life is an excellent conversation piece. It feels like things have become very mundane in my life but I think I'm okay with that for a while. Most days I'm happy and it's a nice feeling. I think I'd like to stick with this for a while.

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Update: My appreciation for the day is being marred slightly by the fact that I appear to have a sunburn. Ow. So much for sunshine being the answer to all of life's problems...

Taking Blonde To A Whole New Level

So this weekend was MayQuest 2006 - a Dungeon Quest. Myself and seven other fabulous friends went as Babes (note the capital letter). We were a group of models, essentially, who had broken into one of Brockmore's fancy tower things to have a photo shoot and ended up having to figure a way out of said dungeon. And all of us, minus maybe Else and Liz, were blonde beyond belief. I giggled and pranced and tossed my hair and grinned like an idiot all weekend. It actually hurt to be that blonde. But it was worth it. It was an absolute blast, with a fabulous costume and an amazing group of friends. I got to fight a Gollum, accidentally, pirouette along a 3-inch ledge, have glyphs drawn on my arm in lip liner, award people gold stars for excellent colour coordination, give random people makeovers, marry the Sherieff of Brockmore and flirt with everybody. Myrna and I were playing elves - Rosie and Guilda (see: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern) who may have had a brain cell between the two of them. It was great. I have never had so much fun feeling so stupid. While the Saturday portion of the Quest left us feeling a little dissappointed with things, Sunday reminded why I love role-playing and why I keep going to these events. This morning (Monday) was brutually painful and working all day was an incredible feat of self-discipline but I'm glad I went.

These are some random photos from Sunday's event. Unfortunately all the photos from Saturday are on Star's camera so you shall have to wait to see those. Enjoy!!

Purged

And just like that... he's gone. My things are pushed into piles on either side of two rooms, everything familiar seems to have disappeared, and my cat isn't greeting when I get home from work. He's packed up and moved on. Why can't I move on? Why does this hurt so much? Why couldn't he have moved my memories out too?

How do you get someone out of your mind, your system and your heart when everything - and I do mean everything - makes you think of him? I feel trapped in some hell-ish Purgatory of our relationship. I don't want to think about it anymore, I don't want to remember. And I think that I wish it had never happened.

When I left Wildfire, Monica gave me a goodbye card. As I sat here, pondering how much my life sucked, I happened to look over to a pile of papers and it was sitting on top. I picked it up and read the quote on the inside and started to cry.

"I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books. Don't search for the answers which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer..." (Rainer Maria Rilke)

I'm trying guys. Have patience with me. I'll be back, but I'm still a long way away. I hope you'll all wait for me...