"Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today." (Legally Blonde)

Well yes actually that is what happened. Except that it wasn't when I woke up, it was sort of half-way through gym class. Yes, so I've decided I want to go to law school. After I go my undergrad of course (Political Sciences). I don't actually want to be a lawyer, but I want to work in the embassies. Either as a consulat or an ambassador eventually, or whatever. I mentioned this to my mum and she just looked so thrilled. I think they're glad that I'm finally being 'serious' instead of fooling around with all my drama stuff. Luckily I will never give up on theater. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I know theater will always be a part of my life. So yeah, law school. Should be interesting.

And in other news, I really like these lyrics. So pretty...

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

(Chorus)
Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place
Where she's loved
Concrete Angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but, they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When mornin' comes it'll be too late

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place
Where she's loved
Concrete Angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place
Where she's loved
Concrete Angel

I have this whole new respect for the male species and their ability to cram a pair of boxers into their jeans. Of course, they don't usually wear their jeans as tight as mine are. But still.... it's sheer madness.

I love my boxers. Woohoo, England Underground boxers. Right Laura? And who could forget 'Mind the Gap'. Laura, Katie, Haley - I'm sure none of you have forgotten....

You can be me when I'm gone

You know, most nights I love my job. I really honestly do. But the other nights, it's all I can do /not/ to pick up heavy objects and throw them at the stupid punky skater kids' heads. For the love of all things electronic! Jenna and I were discussing how our work ought to invest in video cameras to tape our shifts so that when we eventually lose it and fly into a homicidal rage, there will be evidence at our hearings. Of course, we also discussed how if they actually listened to our suggestions, half of the people working there would be gone, and all the broken stuff would be fixed. But no, nobody listens to us. *sigh*

In other news, I came up with this wicked cool character for Heresy. 24601D - occassionaly known as Drew. I'm quite looking forward to getting to play her. I'm also in the midst of coming up with a character concept for an online 'play by email' game called Nexxus, that Liz told me about. I have a general idea for her... now I just need a name. You'd think that would be the easy part.

Random news, I don't work Saturday. This is making me exceedingly happy as it means I can do girl stuff with Starlin' and April, and possibly assorted others, Friday night, sleep in, and be awake and on time for game on Saturday. I'm taking Jessamabob with me to Fade. Mwahahahaha. I will corrupt the other 'J' girl. *grin* Mr. Learn really ought to have just stuck to /not/ using our names, shouldn't he Jess? I realized the other day that you are the only person I still hang out with from elementary school, Jess. That of all my friends, you are the one I have known the longest. Isn't that cool? Man, elementary school.... yikes. There's a memory lane that I'm good with keeping closed. Perhaps that's why I don't hang out with a lot of people from then anymore. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad - just parts of it. Parts of it were actually fabulous. Like Mme. Culhane, giving tachers nervous breakdowns, soccer-baseball, the "musicals", All The Right Type, cleaning the equipement room, Mrs. Beyers.... lots of stuff. *sigh* I guess, in a way, I actually do miss those days. Being a tomboy, being carefree. Good stuff like that. *laughs* I can still remember getting detention because, horror of horrors, I took a step towards Alex and he ran away scared. It was good to be feared. I so loved being a tomboy. Still am to a degree.

Jodi-Lynn: ... but my shoes will totally clash with this pinny.
Jeanne: Man, I am so glad I am not a girly-girl.
Kelsey: Sure you are. I mean, you talk like a girly-girl.
Jeanne: Oh, my, god, do I like really like talk like a total girly-girl? *insert blonde head shaking and giggling here* I like totally didn't realize that. I always like thought that I like... *pause, mock horror* Oh no!! I like broke a nail!!
Kelsey: Funny
Jodi-Lynn: Real funny.

... the next day ...

Kelsey: Ha. You /are/ a girly-girl. You're wearing a girly-girl shirt.
Jeanne: It's blue Kelsey... and says 'Free Spirit' on it. The fact that it is a tank top, does not make it 'girly-girl.'

Small deaths...

"Small deaths," Zoe repeated.
After another long hesitation, she heard Bob sigh. "They're those pivotal moments in a person's life that change it forever: a love affair gone wrong, not getting into the right post-graduate program, stealing a car on a dare and getting caught, that kind of thing. They're the moments that some people brood on forever; right now they could have the most successful marriage or career, but they can't stop thinking about the past, about what might have happened if things had gone differently."
"It sours their success, makes them bitter. And usually it leads to more small deaths: depression, stress, heavy drinking or drug abuse. abusing their spouse or children."
"What are you saying?" Zoe asked, "That a small death's like disappointment?"
"More like a pain, a sorrow, an anger. It doesn't have to be something you do to yourself. Maybe one of your parents died when you were just a kid, or you were abused as a child; that kind of trauma changes a person forever. You can't go through such an experience and grow up to be the same person you would have been without it."
-- Charles DeLint (Small Deaths)

Eanie, meanie, miney, mo....

One foot, two feet, one foot, two feet....

Strawberry Shortcake, Huckleberry Pie....

I miss being a little kid. I miss not caring about anything in the world. I miss being able to be the tomboy I was. I miss being androgynous. I miss the people I knew back then. I miss the simplicity.

Gosh, I make it sound like my childhood was all sun and roses. And I guess it was... sort of. Up until, I grew up too fast. But that's life, right? Wouldn't want us to be happy or anything. Better to screw over our lives. Scar us for all eternity, just to make sure we never really enjoy life at all.

"Why live life from dream to dream, and dread the day when dreaming ends." (Moulin Rouge)

I think I'll go be anti-social now. It's just not worth it to care anymore.

What is it about being female that makes guys think we can't play sports? I mean, seriously. Why is it that guys automatically assume that I won't be able to throw or catch a football, just because I have a freaking X chromosone? It just drives me crazy. I did not ask to be born female. In fact, if I had had the option, female would not have been my first choice. And then, just because I get knocked over by a guy, about three times my size, they all assume that I've died. Hello, female - not glass! I love playing football. I really do. But today all I got to do was spend 75 minutes standing around on a field watching the guys run around, drop the balls, and generally make fools of themselves. But God forbid they actually listen to me when I point out that the strategy that has been failing them for the past, oh 3 downs, may not be their best guess. And we sure wouldn't want to throw the ball to the girl who is standing completely alone, far away from the other team (but in throwing distance) and about 5 feet from the endzone. Nope, better to throw to the guy who hasn't yet managed to catch a single ball, and is being covered by three players from the other team. Yeah, I can see the sense in that.

Grrr. In the words of Angel *insert angry growling animal noises here* What a complete waste of time! Stupid stupid boys.

I ran into someone the other day who was in drama club, when she was in grade 7 and I was in grade 9. I had to control myself from dying laughing when she said, "So what kind of stuff are you taking these days? I seem to remember you were a bit of a drama junkie back in junior high?" I mean, I realize she meant courses, but still... drama through an IV. Ah yes, life would be good. Bet you could make a killing on that. But it also made me a little sad that one would think that I am no longer a drama junkie. I am, like, the queen of drama junkies.

Speaking of which, I've decided I ought to find out what ELOPE is doing for their spring show this year. Afterall, I will only have one show (Crazy for You) show going on at that point. How will I cope with the lack of stress? Being that in the first part of the year, I will have three shows on the go, including two musicals ( Anne of Green Gables and Oliver!) and some show in Drama 30.

So, I saw this article in the paper about how the growing problem of obesity is our own faults for eating so much Kraft. Or something like that. Something about how so many basic food products are made by Kraft, whose products are quite fatty. It included Kraft Dinner on the least. My heart was breaking. Not KD. Not the staple food of every child's diet, and the food of bachelors, lazy people, and those who can't cook everywhere. Not the yummy cheesy goodness. So, I went and got a box out of the cupboard to check if this horrible rumour could have some truth in it.

Per 3/4 cup (175mL) serving: Fat - 9.6g

Why God? Why take this away from us?

The world as I know it, has come to an end...

I heard this song on the radio at work today. Blue Rodeo - Bulletproof. Not really my usual type of music, but the lyrics caught me. Made me immediately think of a friend of mine. I'm not going to say who the friend is as she may not even realize these are for her. I just want to say that I love you dearly, and thank you for everything. I'm sorry for sometime being a bit of a drama queen (and yes, I know what you're all thinking *ahem* understatement *ahem*) and for maybe prying too much. You're always trying to seem strong for everyone else - not letting them see the broken girl who lives inside. But I see her, and I worry because nobody else does. So, if it seems like I'm always worried about you, it's because I worry that nobody else notices.

Tell me one more time again just like I didn't hear you
Like I don't know what's going through your mind, I do
I play the same game too
I know it's hard to stop
Even when you want to

Now the moon lights up your face and I can see you're crying
You never liked me to see you cry, it's true
I've done some crying too
You know, the hardest part about it
Is trying to hide it from you

It would be great to be so strong
I never needed anybody's help to get along
But we're so scared of the silence and the tricks that we use
O, we're careful and we're cunning, but we're easily bruised
I don't want to lie about it, I'm not bulletproof

Well I finally found the way to hide from all your glances
Til the waiting game we play is through
I can, but what's the use
When all I really want to do is hide out with you?

It would be great to be so strong
You never needed anybody's help to get along
We're so scared of the silence and the language that we use
Yeah we're careful and we're cunning, but we're easily bruised
I don't wanna kid about it, I'm not bulletproof

Tell me one more time again I guess I didn't hear you
And I don't know all the secrets that you keep inside
I tried the same thing too
But they all come pouring out of me when I'm talking to you

It would be great to be so strong
You never needed anybody else's help to carry on
But I'm not waking up each morning with forgiveness I can use
No I'm careless and I'm cruel, but I'm still easily bruised
But I'm so tired of lying about it, I'm not bulletproof
No, and I'm not going to lie about it, I'm not bulletproof

It's raining outside right now. Thunder and lightning. And I have my window open and can hear it all - see it all. I can hear the raindrops hitting the trees outside my window. I can smell the fresh scent of the world. I can see the flashes of light, streaking across the sky, and the crashing of thunder, echoing into eternity.

Today was one of /those/ days. A day that doesn't have a word to describe it. Ranging from great, to terrible, to sick, to dizzy, to sort of decent, and to peaceful. Every emotion - everywhere.

"Doesn't matter that I should not need you. Doesn't matter that I could not see you. Could you love me for all I am?" (Moody's Point)

My baby did something strange today, and I ended calling up a tech support person to try and get it working again. My BIOS settings had apparently been messed around with, and the hardrive wasn't talking to the rest of the computer anymore. Or something like that. Anyway, he walked me through fixing the settings, and Loki worked just fine after that. I'll admit it though, I was scared. My poor baby. But the point of this bit of the post was not, in fact, to talk about my baby not working, but to talk about the tech support guy. It was wierd - he sounded so... nice over the phone. I don't think that's really the word I'm looking for though. Like... someone who I would hang out with. Good people. It just made me think about the kind of stuff you cn figure out about people just by listening to them talk. This guy, for example, sounded young-ish and, obviously, was male. He was really helpful, and realized that not everybody in the world is as computer literate as him, and knew how to explain things for those of us who aren't. He also actually listened to what I was telling him was the problem, instead of just assuming that he knew - being the "expert" and all. One could tell that he truly loves computers, and is a total geek at heart. Probably one of those kids who was teased mercilessly in high school *smile* And you got the feeling, that you were actually being cared about, not just another tech problem. And anyone who I can have a conversation like this with, must be good people:

Tech Guy: What you want to ask yourself is 1) Who would have changed the settings? and 2) How can I keep them from doing this again?
Jeanne: Well, I have an idea of who it might have been, and I think I'm going to have a little 'chat' with him about it.
Tech Guy: No, don't chat with him - hit him. I'd recommend an aluminum baseball bat, you know the wood ones just splinter.
Jeanne: *laughs*
Tech Guy: Just put the 'fear of God' into him about ever touching your computer again.
Jeanne: That's right - nobody messes with my baby.

I mean, really. It was quite a long, neat phone call altogether. And I hope that next time I have computer 'issues' I'll be able to call him up again, and have another amusing conversation with him.

Gah, I have this horrible urge to turn this into a really really depressing post now. But I will attempt to fight that urge. Quick think happy thoughts... Umm... I got mentioned in two people's blogs today (Anna and Kheru) and I got the nicest compliment for someone:
"Well, if it means anything to you... you were damn sexy last night... and I know sexy."

It struck me as funny that that meant more to me than... well other things. I just realized I didn't actually feel like finishing that sentance and risking hurting someone. But hey, like I've said before, "Pain is my gift." I'd much prefer death honestly - Buffy so got the better end of this deal. Yeah, the not depressing thing is not working out well for me. *sigh* Too many thoughts. Ha, and ironically can't put them into words. It figures doesn't it.

The only time I manage to express myself well, it seems, is through my poetry. The stuff I don't let /anybody/ read. Not unless they need to, or unless I want them to. Occasionnaly this happens. Tonight for instance, Kheru got to read two pieces - was easier than trying to make sentances make sense. So, I've decided to post this piece on here, mostly out of curiousity of the reaction.

I will ask that if you should feel the need to comment on anything at all serious in this blog, email me, call me or post it as a private entry in my guestbook please. This was really more of a 'needing to get stuff out' kind of post, and depressed me a lot, so I would rather not have people posting comments for the world to see. Thanks.

Jailbait
Am I?
Who
Am I?
Flirt
Am I?
Scared
Definately.
Only sure
of very few things.
None of them me.
Wish they were you.
Unfortunately,
I waver there too."
--Pixie (14.6.03)

Closing time - open all the doors and let you out into the world.
Closing time - turn all the lights on over every boy and every girl.
Closing time - one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go out to the places you will be from.
Closing time - this room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters come.
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits - I hope you have found a friend.
Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
Yeah,

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go out to the places you will be from...

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

"And third, the Pirate's Code is more of a set of what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules."

As promised, the piratical picture. Enjoy

So, Eric ended up watching the four children (Aria, Cassie, Connor and Kalen) at James and Lara's, while the bunch of us headed off to Pirates of the Carribean. Some of us were in pirate garb, and others were not. That is to say, four of the twenty of us were *grin* The movie was utterly fantastic, and the company was great, and we thoroughly freaked many many mundanes. 'Twas an excellent piratical adventure. Though I did miss the ice tea and popcorn and hot boys I was suppose to be having with Bailey.

Editor's note: Bee, I promise next week sometime we will do something. Love you love you love you.

I got picked up and thrown over various people's shoulders a total of five times in the evening (James. Cam and Liz) and carried across various bits of the parking lot and out of the theater. You should have /seen/ some of the wierd looks we got.

Editor's note: Haley, you know that incredulous "What the hell?" look we always get from people? Times that by about a hundred and you're getting close.

After the movie, we got a random stranger to take a picture of us all outside the theater, which Raven has promised to put up on her weblog and will throw the link my way at that point. Pirates good.... Orlando Bloom *melt*... Johnny Depp *super melt*... and all sorts of wonderful pirate booty.

Speaking of which:

Excellent Evening Moments - a list by your resident Pixie
- The gaggle of boys talking about how they would "do" Star, if only they weren't worried about her scary boyfriend sitting next to her. Said scary boyfriend being James (Raven's wonderful husband) and Raven being the one overhearing this conversation.
- Said gaggle of boys also talking about the three 'drunk' girls and how they were "all over eachother." The three supposedly 'drunk' girls being Star, Liz and I.
- Freaking the mundane ticket taker (Go me and James *grin*)
- Pirate boots... enough said.
- Oh and speaking of pirates boots... Cam, at one point, had be over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and people were making cracks about him stealing the pirate booty. Raven was walking behind him, and my foot was just about at her mouth level, and as is Raven style, she bit my boot. Laughingly, when I was put down, I explained to her that this was a boot and this was booty. A common misunderstanding, really *wink*
- Arring and clapping in the middle of the movie. Not to mention our entire section bursting out in hysterical laughter... a lot.
- Being wrestled in the parking lot to steal back the keys I had 'borrowed.' Also being held a hostage in said situation to get the keys back from the person I had thrown them too.
- Watching Liz (person I had thrown keys too) realize her ride was leaving, drop the keys into Star's bra, and saying, "There, you deal with them." Watching Star realize what had just happened, and then flee from the guys who were chasing her to grab them back.
- Talking with Mike Roy on the way back to James and Lara's. Was neat - Other is cool people.
- James talking about his licorice sword "It's not limp - it's versatile."

Hmm, I could probably think of many more things to add to the list but I am tired and wanting to go to bed.. ish.

But I had one other thing to blog before I do that. I just wanted to thank whoever is running the world, for taking a tiny moment every day to remind me why I don't want to get married, or have a long-term relationship - just in case I was getting any other ideas. Just the tiny things every day you do to remind me. Thank you. Really. They're just what make my days perfect.

That being said, I'm actually not in a bad mood - just tired. Going to bed now.

Excuse me while I rant -

My house is completely devoid of food, and really icky. This is what happens when nobody but my brother is home for a week and a half. The only food that there is all going moldy, and there are dirty dishes everywhere. Plus, the compost hadn't been emptied in forever, and was filled with moldy food stuff, ditto for the garbage. There are coke cans everywhere, and ew ew ew.

When I have a place to live, it will never ever be like this. I mean, yeah I'm not big on the whole cooking and cleaning thing, but still. The least a person could do is put dishes in the dishwasher and stuff like that. It's not that hard people. Or go grocery shopping so that there is more to eat in the house that crackers and chicken noodle soup. Ever heard of vegetables? You know, those yummy green (and other coloured) things that are good for your health? I mean, it's a sad day when I can't eat salad because the lettuce has gone rotten.

Gah! And, of course, I am stuck here, with no way to get to, say, a grocery store to remedy this situation. Instead I can only sit here and rant. Rant rant rant. I mean I could probably bike to the store, but then I wouldn't particularily have a way to get the groceries back. I suppose I could take a cab. Oh man it's pathetic when I'm thinking about taking a cab to go get groceries.

And the worst part of the house being all icky is I don't want to clean it because I didn't have anything to do with the mess. I haven't been home in a week and a half. Besides, if I just clean up after my brother, he'll never learn. Right? But it's so icky... I'm all torn on what to do. Stupid stupid house. Stupid stupid lack of groceries. Stupid stupid life.

I'm sick of being seventeen. I'm sick of being the baby, and being treated like one. It's just not fair. I didn't ask to be the youngest, but I am. And I get treated like I have no idea what's ever going on. I hate it. Just because I'm younger and I don't have all that life experience, doesn't mean I should have to feel so left out all the time.

*sigh* I don't really mean to rant - I know people don't mean to make me feel left out, but it is the way I feel. And this isn't the first time this has happened. Last time it was worse. Much much worse. Almost friendship-ruining worse. I guess I just hate feeling this way. Makes me feel all icky inside and headachy. Oh my head sure hurts. I just want to curl up in a small dark corner and never ever come out. Blah.

I have all these new shinys!! It makes me exceedingly happy. Oh, and we played "Hamlet! - A Game in Five Acts" tonight. 'Twas so much fun. An excerpt from the rule book...

Introduction - So there's this kid named Hamlet, see. His dad dies under mysterious circumstances and his uncle marries his mom. Did I mention that Hamlet is the Prince of Denmarl and that his uncle is now King? So, anyway, he goes home to find his dad's ghost telling him to avenge his death.

So, Hamlet fakes being insane to make sure that his uncle really did the deed, alienating his girlfriend and two childhood friends along the way. He kills his girlfriend's father and is sent to England. While in England, his girlfriend goes insane and kills herself and his two friends sing "Hakuna Matata" and then die.

Right, so Hamlet returns from England where he faces his girlfriend's brother who blames Hamlet for everything from his father's death to the dot-com bust. They fight and both of them die, but not before Hamlet kills his uncle and his mom commits suicide.

To wrap up this happyu tale, a guy named Fortinbrad from Norway invades out of nowhere. With practically nobody left in Denmark, they take over. Yay, Norway! Then the curtain falls and you get a C- on your book report.

At least that's how Shakespeare wrote it. Well, except for the "Hakuna Matata" part, althought Ophelia does sing at one point. Really.

Tee, alright done being a geek now. Actually no wait, I'm not. I'm also going to put in a cute quote from the scene Star and I were running for Tempest the other day. Jeanne is playing Adi, Star is playing a mafia guy named Tony.
Jeanne - So, which family are you with then?
Star - I told you my last name.
Jeanne - *out of character* No you didn't!
Star - *out of character* I said Tony LastNameHere, close enough.

Right well I'm tired and my head is spinning from my latest sneeze. Ouch. Going to bed now.*hugs* Cyberspace - thank you for always listening, no matter how tired and babbling I am.

PS: Apparently I'm a crisisgeek. Didn't know they existed did you? Well they do. And apparently the qualifications for being one are understanding my bad bad jokes about elephants in rooms. Email me if you care. If not, proceed to shake you head at me in my insanity.

Well this is it, last night. I miss them a lot and am looking forward to seeing them again. But, them getting home means it's over for me. No more safe place - no sanctuary. Back to reality. Back to not having a reason.

She just made a noise upstairs, and it struck me that after tonight, she won't be mine anymore. She'll go back to being their's. Their little girl - not my little girl anymore.

Sure, there were moments where I just wanted to wring her neck because she wouldn't stop crying. But then... then she would hug me, or look at me with her big brown eyes and smile, and it would melt my heart. Just to know that someone could love me unconditionally, barely even knowing me. She doesn't judge, or ask questions. All she asks is that I pick her up when she cries, and love her. And I can handle that.

But after tonight, that's over.

They were all so worried that I would do something stupid while they were gone. Don't they get it? She gave me a reason to be here. I couldn't, I wouldn't let her down. But now... I don't have a reason again.

"Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.

When you find that, once
again, you long
to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me."

I don't want to sleep anymore. I just want to sit here and watch time pass. Wait for the end to come. Wait for reality to sink back in. And then I'll go back to that place. Away from my safety nets. But what good are safety nets, when the holes are big enough for me to fall through?

“I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen – I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkly lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one-day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time (although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honestly and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a baby’s right to live, that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that might as well lie back and enjoy it.”
--Neil Gaiman (American Gods)