"Your name of Jeanne-Marie has given you an appreciation of the business world and the handling of finances. You could do well in the sales field. You are ambitious, desire the best in life, and appreciate quality in all things. You are creative, promotional, and versatile, all qualities leading to success in the financial side of your life. However, this name has made you rather aggressive, shrewd, and critical and has caused you to be extremely independent. It is difficult for you to express fully the softer, more feminine qualities that should be a part of your nature. This name creates such a strong, positive nature, that the more sensitive types of people would find it overpowering at times."
Alright, so the part about finances is terribly crack like, but the rest is fairly accurate. Curious that. But not particularily the reason I decided to blog tonight. Have you ever had one of those moments where you suddenly remember something you had forgotten, and then like an avalanche, everything you've ever possibly forgotten, or should have done, or need to do, comes tumbling through your mind, and throws you into a crazy panic attack? I get these a lot. And I'm so tired of it. I just think of one thing I'll have forgotten, and suddenly I'm frekaing out, can't breathe, crying, shaking, can barely string together sentances. It's terrible. And it's usually not big things either. It's stupid little things Like I forgot to make the Playdough for tommorow. (Editor's Note: No fear, that's done now. It's pink... Oooh aahh.) It's just dumb stuff like that. But it makes everything suddenly seem so out of proportion. Suddenly, the fact that I have not folded my clean laundry seems to be the worst thing in the world. Do you understand?
I guess part of it is the depression. I'll spend hours, days, sitting around doing absolutely nothing worthwile for the simple reason that I have no motivation to. Nothing seems worth it. Nothing seems important. It's all I can do just to get out of bed in the morning. So then when I realize I have forgotten things, the panic attacks are even worse because of all the wasted time. Sound stupid? I know I know. It's just so hard somedays. I feel as though I'm doing absolutely nothing worthwhile with my life. Seconds just ticking by, another moment closer to the inevitable. On days when I do nothing of substance, I curse myself for even breathing, because I don't deserve it. I've done nothing to contribute to the world, so why should I be allowed to live in it?
On a completely unrelated topic, my oldest brother is one of the coolest people I know. He and his girlfriend went to Thailand and South Korea for three weeks, and just got back a week ago. They came over for supper tonight, which was cool because I don't get to see them all that often. They had brought me a very cool carved elephant, and little statue from Thailandm which I totally love. But the coolest thing of all was the present Diana brought me, for no apparent reason. It was an Edmonton Transit map and BusLink directory, full of personal notes, and important things marked on the map. For instance, she had marked all the shopping malls, the theaters, the museums and the conservatory. She marked my brother's work, and my dad's work, plus their new house, and even IKEA. Plus their were little comments written in all over. It was just the coolest, most personalized present ever. It's funny how it can be the smallest, wierdest presents that make a person the most happy. Or maybe I'm just wierd *grin*
It's neat, my friends and I have been making all these plans for when I get my cast off. Laura and I are going to go to the Waterpark. Bailey wants to organize a party at Jamie's. Plus Bee and I are planning a shopping trip. I just can't wait. I hate having this cast more than anything else. It's the worst form of torture ever invented.
Well, that's my life. Until next time...
This blog has been brought to you by the letters J and M, and the number 4.
Alright, so the part about finances is terribly crack like, but the rest is fairly accurate. Curious that. But not particularily the reason I decided to blog tonight. Have you ever had one of those moments where you suddenly remember something you had forgotten, and then like an avalanche, everything you've ever possibly forgotten, or should have done, or need to do, comes tumbling through your mind, and throws you into a crazy panic attack? I get these a lot. And I'm so tired of it. I just think of one thing I'll have forgotten, and suddenly I'm frekaing out, can't breathe, crying, shaking, can barely string together sentances. It's terrible. And it's usually not big things either. It's stupid little things Like I forgot to make the Playdough for tommorow. (Editor's Note: No fear, that's done now. It's pink... Oooh aahh.) It's just dumb stuff like that. But it makes everything suddenly seem so out of proportion. Suddenly, the fact that I have not folded my clean laundry seems to be the worst thing in the world. Do you understand?
I guess part of it is the depression. I'll spend hours, days, sitting around doing absolutely nothing worthwile for the simple reason that I have no motivation to. Nothing seems worth it. Nothing seems important. It's all I can do just to get out of bed in the morning. So then when I realize I have forgotten things, the panic attacks are even worse because of all the wasted time. Sound stupid? I know I know. It's just so hard somedays. I feel as though I'm doing absolutely nothing worthwhile with my life. Seconds just ticking by, another moment closer to the inevitable. On days when I do nothing of substance, I curse myself for even breathing, because I don't deserve it. I've done nothing to contribute to the world, so why should I be allowed to live in it?
On a completely unrelated topic, my oldest brother is one of the coolest people I know. He and his girlfriend went to Thailand and South Korea for three weeks, and just got back a week ago. They came over for supper tonight, which was cool because I don't get to see them all that often. They had brought me a very cool carved elephant, and little statue from Thailandm which I totally love. But the coolest thing of all was the present Diana brought me, for no apparent reason. It was an Edmonton Transit map and BusLink directory, full of personal notes, and important things marked on the map. For instance, she had marked all the shopping malls, the theaters, the museums and the conservatory. She marked my brother's work, and my dad's work, plus their new house, and even IKEA. Plus their were little comments written in all over. It was just the coolest, most personalized present ever. It's funny how it can be the smallest, wierdest presents that make a person the most happy. Or maybe I'm just wierd *grin*
It's neat, my friends and I have been making all these plans for when I get my cast off. Laura and I are going to go to the Waterpark. Bailey wants to organize a party at Jamie's. Plus Bee and I are planning a shopping trip. I just can't wait. I hate having this cast more than anything else. It's the worst form of torture ever invented.
Well, that's my life. Until next time...
This blog has been brought to you by the letters J and M, and the number 4.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home