Something that was written by a friend of mine. Something that I believe is a better way of looking at problems and society as a whole. Something that I think I could learn from. And maybe you can too.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Father David Graham to the 2002 annual International Social Aid Workers Conference."

*polite applause*

Good afternoon. It is an incredible honor to be asked to address this conference - I can remember many years of sitting out there, on those horrible chairs *laughter*, looking for the insights other people have brought from their work, so that I could take them back and perhaps make that crucial difference in just one more life.

Those of us working with inner city kids know that we have two big stumbling blocks to making a difference: They have to want to change before we can even start, and when we do manage to get them climbing up, 9 times out of ten they slide back down. Our keynote speaker today, Dr. Tokawa, has written several excellent books on the first problem, and I look forward to sitting out there tonight and taking notes. I would like to share with you some of the ways I have found to help deal with the second problem, and discuss some of the philosophy behind my methods.

Life is about choices, and common wisdom holds that some of them are harder than others. I've always disliked that concept, but was unable to find a good way to articulate my problem with it, until a few years ago when a friend of mine who works at AADAC was speaking to a group of alcoholics. He told them 'you have to choose to quit drinking - and you have to make that choice every time you want one.' Since that time, I've been using a lot of the AADAC material in my general work - leaving aside for a moment that inner city work has to deal with a lot of substance abuse - it has been a key insight for me to realize that its the same behaviour patterns that are affecting some of these kids, and in many cases I've been able to stop or slow the slide by treating the street like an addiction. A lot of these kids want a job, or a good pad, or an education, but never try, because there is just too much that needs to change, so they change nothing.

Part of the problem is convincing these kids that the choice *IS* their own, and making them believe that. As a priest, I spend half of my time breaking down the barriers that these kids have set up, because of what they think I'll say or do, or what they've been told I'll require. I'll let you in on a little secret, if you promise not to tell the Bishop. *scattered laughter* I don't care if these kids go to church, as long as they get off the street. In fact, I'll go a step further - and this probably will get me in trouble - I don't care if these kids get off the street, as long as they know they can.

I try and teach them that the big things are just little things, all strung together. Getting a job isn't a matter of deciding "I want a job" - it's deciding to make a resume, and deciding to shower and shave, and drop it off in person. Deciding to get up in the morning. Deciding to accept something resembling authority. And each of these isn't just one step, they're all little steps strung together. Just like an alcoholic gets up in the morning and decides to drink juice or coffee instead of whiskey, or go straight home instead of straight to the bar. Little things, that are just like the little things that put them in the hole in the first place. None of these kids woke up and decided "I want to be a junkie living on the street" - but a string of littler choices all taken together put them there. Just like a string of littler choices can take them out. Not that making the choices smaller makes them easy - "I'm not going to have this drink" might be smaller than "I'm going to get off the street", but that doesn't mean it's an easy choice. But it's one choice, here and now, instead of a whole lifetime of choices, here and now.

It's also important to recognize and celebrate the little successes, without expecting too much, too fast. Each time a junkie decides not to shoot up is a victory, even if he's still a junkie. One of my favorite success stories is a kid I was working with in Seattle, several years ago. He was a heavy drug user living on the street when I started working with him, and a drug user living on the street when he stopped coming in. Before he stopped coming, he said "Dave, I still do drugs, and I probably always will. But before I do, each and every single time, I think 'Do I need to do this?' and the answer is usually 'No, but I'm choosing to.' - but sometimes the answer is 'No, and I'm choosing not to.'" Last year I got a letter from him, and he wrote "Dave, I still do drugs, and I probably always will. But before I do, each and every single time, I think 'Do I need to do this?' and the answer is usually 'No, and I'm choosing not to.' I wanted to write and tell you that. I also want you to know that one of the guys in my gang has started saying 'No, but I'm choosing to.'" AADAC teaches that the first step is admitting you have a problem. I like to teach that the first step is knowing you have a choice.

I believe strongly that I can offer, and guide, and teach, but not compel. The hardest part of teaching these kids that the choice is theirs is accepting that I won't always like what they do with it.