"I'm the onion girl. Pull back the layers of my life, and you won't find anything at the core. Just a broken child. A hollow girl."

"I like to see my friends as couples. I like to see them in love with each other. But it's not the same for me.
Except who am I kidding? I want the same thing, but I just choke when a man gets too close to me. I can't let down that final barrier, I can't even tell them why.
Sophie says I expect them to just instinctively know. That I'm waiting for them to be understand and caring without ever opening up to them. If I want them to follow the script I've got written out in my head, she says I have to let them in on it.
I know she's right, but I can't do anything about it.
I see a dog slink into the alleyway beside the building. He's skinny as a whippet, but he's just a mongrel that no one's taken care of for a while. He's got dried blood on his shoulders, so I guess someone's been beating him.
I go down with some cat food in a bowl, but he won't come near me, no matter how soothingly I call to him. I know he can smell food, but he's more scared of me than he's hungry. Finally I just leave the bowl and go back up the fire escape. He waits until I'm sitting outside my window again before he goes up to the bowl. He wolfs the food down and then he takes off like he's done something wrong.
I guess that's the way I am when I meet a man I like. I'm really happy with him until he's nice to me, until he wants to kiss me and hold me, and then I just run off like I've done something wrong."