Haven't been able to blog in such a long time.. been so busy being everyone else. I'm tired... so tired. It seems futile somtimes. I mean, I used to be happy, and healthy and all that stuff. When did that change? When did I lose who I was? When did life stop doing it for me?

And the stage... today I just couldn't handle it. I flipped out at Sheila, and I knew I shouldn't have. No matter where you go or what show you are doing there are always going to the bitchy ones who drive you insane, but you suck it up and deal with it. Today, I just couldn't. I just couldn't take it anymore. Why am I even out there? It's not like I'm any good anyways. It seems futile sometimes.

This evening, rehersal. Should have been happy. Should have been great. Wasn't. Why? Was it because you're always there and I can't stop thinking about you? Was it because I was still mad about drama? Or am I really just fucked up? Oh what the hell. I don't care anymore.

In slightly happy news: I'm a llama :)
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