somewhere between the procrastination.... and the homework..... and the incessant forwards..... and the friendships..... and the calls to each other complaining about crushes!!...... Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends..... And the "I miss you's", the "I love you's"....... And the "What are we doing tonight's?"..... And somewhere between all of the changing,growing... Somewhere between the classes........ And the skipping classes...... And the studying for tests.......And the pretending to study for tests....... And the downright NOT studying for tests... I forgot.......... I forgot what high school is all about. I forgot what it meant to cry....... I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy........... And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart ............ I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future.......... I forgot that you can't control falling in love........... And that you can't make yourself fall in love........... I learned that I can love......... I learned that it's okay to mess up......... And it's okay to ask for help......... And it's okay to feel like crap......... I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day........ I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have. I learned that the greatest thing about high school isn't the parties or the DRiNKiNG or the hook-ups... It's the friendships, which means taking chances........ I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about.......... I learned that letters from friends are the most important things. And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends........ Both old and new......... Are the most important people to me in the world. AND.......without them, I wouldn't be who I am today..... So this is a thank you to all of my friends. . For always being there. And even if were not on good terms or we have lost touch... I still care for you..

Somebody I considered my best friend sent this to a long time ago. I didn't really think anything about it then, but now. Now I wonder how she is, and what's new with her, and why things changed. I wonder if she thinks about me when I'm not around. I see her now, everyday, and she tries so hard to pretend that nothing changed but, I see it, and she sees it. And I wish more than anything in the world that I could hold her tight and tell her it's going to be alright.... But now, it's not the same and I can't. I try to show her that it's changed without saying it and just get "Fuck off Jeanne" in return. Other than "I love you" I've never had three words hurt so much ever in my life. I just want the world to go away and let me curl up in front of my computer without them bothering me. It's amazing the peace you can find in a square screen.