Somebody today told me she wished she was happy like me. I laughed... If only people knew. If only they knew how much I hate myself. How I cry myself to sleep every night. How I put on a mask every morning just to be able to face the day. How I really just want to curl up in a little ball and melt away. How I long for a real relationship, someone to love me... and yet sabotage every relationship, ever. How I have no hope, no goals... I just pretend to. She asked me how I appeared to be so happy all the time... I swallowed hard and fought back tears and said, "practice." Yup, about 10 years of practice, 24/7. I hate life.... Is it worth it??