I have recently felt that I don't fit in anywhere anymore. All the places that I felt safe and happy seem to have dissapered. My RPG Guild, my message boards, my friends, even my spares don't seem to the same anymore. Did everyone change without me? Or did I change without everyone? I sort of feel like the piece of the puzzle you just cannot find the spot for no matter how long and hard you look. You can sort of jam in into various spots, but it never truly fits. I'm shaking. People are so dense sometimes. Like when you're trying to tell them something without saying it, and they are so caught up in there bubbly little world they don't even notice? I hate my friends. I wish I knew what I wanted, or what I am suppose to be doing. Does everybody hit this point? Where you just don't know what the reason is anymore, or if there ever truly was a reason. And the people you used to turn to for comfort don't seem to be there anymore. They try to pretend that nothing is different but you can see it in their eyes, and in their body language. What do they see in my eyes? Is it what I want them to see?

The Meaning of Shattered Glass Slipper
Have you ever stopped and wondered what would have happened to Cinderella if her shoe hadn't fallen off that night? Or if the shoe had broken? Well I have and this is what I figure. Shattered glass slipper, it means that you lost your fairytale ending. Your slipper shattered as you were running down the stairs before the Prince (or Princess depending on who you are) could catch you. Therefore they had nothing to search for you with and gave up and married someone else and had a different, but equally good, happily ever after. A shattered glass slipper is just the loss of a dream or a hope or a love. It's that feeling inside that says, "You screwed up... You do know that right? And you realize that you're never going to be able to fix that, right? And that happily ever after isn't ever going to happen for you, right?" It isn't always a sad thing, sometimes it is just a knowledge. So for those of you who actually care enough to read this and wondered what it meant, that is its meaning.

Why I lay on the floor and stare up
People have asked me so many times why I just lay in the middle of a floor and stare up. For hours at a time. They don't understand and I could never really give them the answer. But this is it: People in this day and age spend entirely too much time looking down. We watch every step we take so as to ensure that we don't make a wrong step or take a wrong turn, or trip and fall (metaphorically speaking that is). Nobody looks up anymore. We are content just to let the world slip by, slide through our fingers without seeing it pass. Luckily I realized one day, that if you lay down and look up, you see all the up that you have been missing, and... how can you fall if you're lying on your back?